The Big Lie: When I Am Happy, Then I Will Be Grateful

There is a hard, strange truth we have to face...

Happiness is severely overrated and it's ruining our culture.

We are obsessed with constantly “being happy” and “doing what makes you happy”. Ironically, that makes no one happy.

Why?

1. Happiness isn't permanent
2. Happiness can’t exist without sorrow since its on a spectrum
3. The best things in life don’t make you happy all the time

Think about it like this. Who do you love the most in the world right now?

Does that person always make you happy? Do they ever make you angry? Or sad? Or frustrated?

If so, then why do you hang out with them if happiness is so important?

Because that relationship is significant.

If that person you love so much became deathly ill and was in the hospital, would it make you happy to go and see them? No!

So if happiness is so important, would you NOT go see them because it would make you sad? Of course not! That moment, while incredibly sorrowful, would be one of significance. 

Significance brings joy, sadness, meaning, difficulty, anger, and yes…happiness.

The Irony Of Thanksgiving

Americans chose the last Thursday of every November to be the day we celebrate Thanksgiving. 

But retail stores chose to create a marketing frenzy for the next 3 days after it to drive their first profits of the year. Black Friday is now a week-long special followed by Cyber Monday, its online equivalent.

So we spend a day "giving thanks" only to allow our technology-hacked craniums to drive us into stores to spend money all weekend.

Many stores even started opening on Thanksgiving Day to get an early start, driving a wedge between time with family and getting an extra $5 off an air fryer. Is that really worth it?

I refuse to go to any of those stores on Thanksgiving Day for two reasons...

1) I will NEVER choose shopping over precious time with my family when we have all traveled and set aside time to be together

2) These stores are forcing others to leave their loved ones to come into work on a national holiday to satisfy our greedy appetites.

We constantly think "more" will make us happy. But the Grinch taught us quite well what happens to all of that stuff we buy that we "need" so bad. It ends up in the trash eventually...

This is the irony of Thanksgiving.

The Solution Is Gratitude

I have a family member who just underwent chemo and radiation for a very serious form of cancer. It wrecked her body for over 8 months. We had no promise of a cure since it was stage 4.

Yet all the doctors, nurses and fellow patients recounted how much of a joy she was during it all. It's incredible someone could actually be happy during such a trial. 

Here's the thing...she isn't the only person to act in such a way during extreme hardship.

I also saw a headline this week about a movie star who is having a breakdown and checking into therapy. This person has fame, millions of dollars and gets treated like royalty wherever they go. 

Yet they are incredibly depressed and unhappy. How could that even be possible?

It's simple. If your life goal is to achieve happiness in every situation, then you'll never be able to find any level of lasting contentment since happiness is so fleeting.

Reframe life around statements like "I'm so lucky to have the people in my life that I do" and "even though things are hard right now, I get another day to be alive and get stronger". 

Then, an advanced trick is to take the focus off of yourself. "I have everything I need in life. What is something I can do to bless someone I know or someone I don't know that has a need?"

The abundance of giving thanks leads to serving others and that is where significance can be found.

Practice gratitude. Chase significance. Happiness will follow.